3 Things I Wish All Expecting Parents Knew

As a psychotherapist working with prenatal and postpartum individuals and couples, I have the honor of walking beside people during one of the most profound transitions in this life. There is almost no aspect of our lives that is untouched as we become parents - the changes we go through can alter our physical, psychological, social, political, and spiritual realities. 

And while the transition is different for each person, I find that more often than not as we focus on preparations for the baby (the registry! nesting! picking names!), we don’t take the same time to prepare for how these changes will impact us as people.

In that spirit, here are three things I wish all expecting parents knew:

1. It’s OK to evolve - For many people, the process of becoming a parent fundamentally shifts parts of our identity and our ideas about who we are. For this reason, Aurélie Athan (a leading scholar of matrescence, or the process of becoming a parent) likens matrescence to adolescence. While this transformation can feel unnerving, especially if we’re not prepared for it, it can be a beautiful opportunity to step into a new phase of life.

2. How to rally social support - Parenting, especially in the early days, can feel logistically overwhelming. The learning curve for finding time to take care of your basic needs while caring for a newborn is steep. With preplanning and clear communication with those in your circle of support, you may be able to get an extra hand (or two! or three!) when you need it most.

3. When to seek additional help - Many of us have heard of the “baby blues” and can anticipate some strong and challenging feelings during the perinatal period. However, we likey don’t learn about perinatal mental health conditions, and when it might be time to reach out for additional support. Familiarizing yourself with the symptoms can be a helpful step in prioritizing your mental health in this critical period.